**Collaborative post**
Just like learning to walk, talk and eventually to read and write, social skills can take some children a little longer to grasp.
Some are naturals, finding interacting with other children and adults a breeze; for these children, navigating the playground, the classroom and park are a pleasure.
For those who find socialising trickier, for the shy or quiet children, there are plenty of tools which you as a parent or caregiver can offer to them which will ultimately make their lives a lot easier.
Attending a school where the child is given plenty of challenges is a big plus when it comes to developing social skills. Children who are regularly challenged academically, physically and socially will benefit in many ways. This co-educational prep school in Surrey believes that fostering courage and tenacity is just as important as promoting academics.
How do I know if my child struggles socially?
You’ll see it first-hand. They may not quite understand the unwritten ‘rules’ of the playground, they might struggle with how and when to join in a game that’s already taking place or they might sit alone in a corner to avoid interacting at all.
You may find that their teacher will let you know if they’re struggling with socialising. This is hard to hear for any parent because ultimately, having fun with friends is a huge part of life and we all want our children to feel the love and support of a circle of peers.
Parties and clubs can be especially difficult for these children because a lot of what they’re about is socialising. Don’t worry if you’ve seen your child struggling though…there are ways to assist them and to encourage them in the right ways without putting any pressure on them.
It’s all about confidence
Confidence is a confusing word…at its heart, it refers to the self-assurance which comes naturally to some and not to others. Lack of confidence is built around fear…usually of the unknown or fear of being hurt in some way.
If your child doesn’t naturally have a lot of confidence, it’s important that you set about helping them to find their inner confidence.
What can I do to help my child gain confidence?
There’s a lot you can do. Firstly don’t blame yourself! Some children are just naturally shyer than others and that’s fine in a way. We can’t all be extroverted…the world would be a pretty tricky place if we were!
Since your child has a lack of confidence, take a long hard look at the way you parent. Are you quite cautious? Maybe a little over-cautious? Could you encourage your child to do more things alone? To take on some challenges.
You don’t need to tell them it’s time to climb a mountain but definitely help them to step out of their comfort zone.
If your child is small still, perhaps under 11, you can begin by giving them more responsibility at home. Little jobs such as washing dishes, helping with pets and gardening will all instil a sense of achievement in your child and this will further their self-confidence.
Then move to challenges outside the home. Here’s a list of simple challenges to set your shy child.
- Let them pay for things in the shops or café
- Encourage them to speak to the waiting staff when eating out…don’t speak for them
- Let them climb trees
- Don’t worry about them getting dirty
- Encourage them to use their voice properly…speak up
- Encourage good posture
- Try new foods
- Stop negative statements…no more ‘she’s shy’ and more ‘she’s thoughtful’
Be your child’s advocate by pushing them beyond their natural limits. As they grow in confidence, so their social skills will reach new heights.
